Parkinsons

An old man and woman were chit-chatting, and the woman asked the man “what do you miss most of your youth”, the old man replied “SEX”.

So the old woman recommended that she grasp his penis each day so it would feel like sex for him and the old man agreed.

A few days later the old woman spots the old man with another old woman.

Feeling angry that the man is cheating on her, she come up to the old man and asked “WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T?”

The old man replied “Parkinsons”.

- Lolz Funny Stuff

Cow Milk

There were three guys hitch hiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they were desperately willing to stay over anywhere. Fortunately, they saw about a mile ahead of them a cow ranch, filled with hundreds of cows. They decided to stay there for the night. So they looked for the main office to ask the ranch owner if they could stay for the night. However, the ranch owner left for the day and no one was there. Too tired from their journey, they decided rather to sleep with the cows than walk forever. They each slept under a cow.

One guy said, "I'm hungry and thirsty, what will we eat and drink?"

Another guy suggested drinking the milk from the cow since they were lying beneath the milk sac. So they began to suck and drink.

The first guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."

The second guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."

The third guy said, "My cow's milk doesn't taste quite right."

The first and second guy then said to the third guy, "Well, try another nipple, that one probably has no more milk."

The third guy in a confused state exclaimed, "But how come my cow has only one, long, nipple!?"

- Lolz Funny Stuff