Soldier & Afghanistan Farmer

A soldier is on patrol in Afghanistan and he comes upon an Afghan farmer at his farm. He looks around and then approaches the farmer.

"How is everything here on your farm? Are you treating your animals well?"

"Yes," replies the Afghan, "very well."

"Great," says the soldier. He looks over and sees a cow in the barn. "You mind if I ask the cow how you're treating her?"

"Cow no talk," says the farmer.

Regardless, the soldier approaches the cow and starts chatting with it, asking it how things are going.

"Well, he takes good care of me. He milks me every morning and keeps us in good pastures with good grass to eat. I'm doing just fine."

The farmer's mouth is agape as he cannot believe what he is hearing!

The soldier returns to the farmer's side and asks, "How about the horse?

Can I chat with him about the farm?"

Again the farmer replies, "Horse no talk."

But the soldier approaches the horse, asks him how things are, and the horse says, "Things are pretty good. The farmer brings me fresh hay every week and we go riding every Friday to check the fences. Not bad at all, very happy to be here."

The farmer nearly can't believe his own eyes and ears.

He is scratching his head in bewilderment as the soldier returns.

The soldier says, "So, how about I talk to one of your sheep..."

The Afghan farmer breaks in quickly, "Sheep lie! Sheep lie!"

- Lolz Funny Stuff

Cow Milk

There were three guys hitch hiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they were desperately willing to stay over anywhere. Fortunately, they saw about a mile ahead of them a cow ranch, filled with hundreds of cows. They decided to stay there for the night. So they looked for the main office to ask the ranch owner if they could stay for the night. However, the ranch owner left for the day and no one was there. Too tired from their journey, they decided rather to sleep with the cows than walk forever. They each slept under a cow.

One guy said, "I'm hungry and thirsty, what will we eat and drink?"

Another guy suggested drinking the milk from the cow since they were lying beneath the milk sac. So they began to suck and drink.

The first guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."

The second guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."

The third guy said, "My cow's milk doesn't taste quite right."

The first and second guy then said to the third guy, "Well, try another nipple, that one probably has no more milk."

The third guy in a confused state exclaimed, "But how come my cow has only one, long, nipple!?"

- Lolz Funny Stuff