I want 14 inch penis

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sightseeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers that her boss told her not to reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the king from wanting to marry her.

After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara." The African king pauses for awhile. Then he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."

Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. And as a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France." The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."

Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea, a sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch penis."

The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman,

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"Okay, okay. I cut. I cut."

- Lolz Funny Stuff

Wonder what he does?

Two builders (Brian and Alex) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.

Brian: - I reckon he's a lawyer.
Alex: - No way - he's a banker.
Brian: - He ain't no banker! A banker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Brian and he makes for the toilet.

On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.

Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.

Brian: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
Brian: - Oh! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Brian: - Er .. mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Brian: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Brian: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then
you have a large house?
Brian: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Brian: - Yes I am married; I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Brian:- Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Brian: - Me? Never
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Brian: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life !
Brian: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Brian returns to his mate.

Alex: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Brian: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Alex: - What's that then?
Brian: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Alex: - Nope
Brian: - Well then, you should stop playing with yourself.

- Lolz Funny Stuff